Emory Schley: The 'secret' to making great-tasting coffee revealed

Last Saturday I printed a note from Fran Jacobisi, who lives in Indiana. She wrote, in part: “We have both learned so much from your column – like how to make our coffee taste better than it ever did before, how to clean microwave ovens quickly, cleanly and for free, and even one time I remember how you advised us of a great way to adjust the rear-view mirrors in our car! I wish we could get your column all the time...”

Then Robert Nikomote wrote: “OK, I’ll bite. Just HOW do you ‘make coffee taste better than it ever did before?’ as someone mentioned in your column. My thought is to make it with champagne instead of water, maybe?”

Gee, Robert, I never tried that. Had champagne one time in my life and wasn’t impressed although I will admit it was cheap champagne. Think I’ll just stick with water myself...

Anyway, Fran Jacobisi was referring to a column I wrote ages ago. I hesitate to even bring this up again because people get so emotional over it. I’ve had friends swear there’s NO way this could work. Time and again I’ve been told this is just NOT possible. Some people almost shout it out. One time I heard this from a fellow who had just watched me every step of the way as I made a pot of coffee. Even after I poured him a cup and he declared it some of the best he’d ever had, he said I had “tricked” him somehow because this just could NOT work. 

It’s kind of like politics, I guess. Some people just REFUSE to believe the truth, even when it smacks them straight in the face!

People are entitled to their own opinions, but opinions don’t nullify facts. The only way to be absolutely certain is to try this yourself. You can do it in secret if you like so no one else will ever know, if that makes you feel better. 

Be forewarned: This will NOT work if you use cream and sugar, which disguises the true taste of coffee and gives you a false impression. This is for black coffee drinkers ONLY.

So, here’s the secret, and be prepared to NOT believe it ... but try it anyway, even if to prove me wrong. It takes a bit of trial and error because we all have somewhat different tastes. Fill a coffeemaker with the usual amount of water, then fill the basket with only HALF the coffee you normally use. That’s right – only use half the usual amount. Brew the coffee, then take a sip. Chances are you’ll notice a marked improvement in its taste. 

The next day, use only half the amount of coffee you used on Day One. See if it improves the taste even further. You can continue this process each day until you find your own Goldilocks zone. Your stomach AND your bank account will both thank you. Just don’t tell anyone how you prepared it, because they will most likely tell you “That’s impossible, I KNOW that DEFINITELY would NOT work.”

Similarly, if you use more than just a quarter-inch or so of toothpaste on your brush, you’re most likely using too much of it. People are easily brainwashed by advertising, especially on TV. Ads show someone using a triple-decked stream of toothpaste to brush their teeth. Ever wonder why? Think about it. I’ve seen coffee can instructions that advise “use one teaspoon of coffee for EACH cup you want to brew...” Really? Gee, I also wonder WHY they do that, too – don’t you? Probably for the same reason shaving cream commercials show men using an inch-thick coating of lather on their faces. 

POSTPONED: Marion County Museum of History and Archaeology Trustee Judy Delk wrote: “Due to the risk of COVID-19, the Nov. 15 program by Dr. Joe Knetsch, historian and author, will be postponed indefinitely. The Jan. 17, 2021 Artifacts and Archaeology of Marion County program by Zackariah D. Pagels must also be postponed tentatively to March 15, 2021.”

Please send your comments to slyguy73@gmail.com and include your FULL name, town and telephone number. This column appears each Thursday and Saturday on the Local & State page and online at ocala.com